The Christmas Holiday Wound
Everyone experiences the holidays differently. Some may find comfort in traditions while others may feel overwhelmed or anxious. For many people, Christmas evokes feelings of happiness; spending time with loved ones and creating cherished memories. For those with mental health challenges or those who have survived trauma, the holiday season can be challenging and can serve as a trigger point that conjures up unpleasant memories from the past.
These are some of the reasons why it is not the most ‘wonderful time of the year’ for many:
1. Grieving celebrating with people (e.g. family, children, partner)
The calendar may indicate that it's time to celebrate, but that doesn't mean that the feelings of grief automatically dissipate. Memories of past celebrations with specific people can resurface during this period, particularly as you're surrounded by people coming together.
2. Experiencing loneliness & exclusion
Christmas traditionally entails family and friends coming together to enjoy meals, spend time, and exchange gifts. It's understandable that feelings of loneliness and exclusion can be more pronounced during this period. Those who live alone or have estranged relationships with their loved ones may feel the pain of loneliness and exclusion more acutely during this time.
3. Coping with difficult family members
For some, the holidays can be a difficult time, particularly when you are anticipating the presence of problematic family members. This might be due to their high-conflict tendencies, invasive behavior, lack of understanding, or other triggering traits. This can make the festivities difficult to enjoy.
4. Expectations & Pressure to be happy
The holidays are filled with expectations and celebrations, but they can also be overwhelming for those who have experienced trauma and are dealing with their mental health. Christmas, in particular, can be a time of societal pressure that puts a great deal of stress on individuals, especially those who are already feeling vulnerable. This can lead to suppressing true emotions, pretending, and participating in holiday traditions just to conform. To make matters worse, these pressures may also come from those closest to us, adding an additional layer to the struggle.
5. Not feeling worthy of receiving gifts
The holiday season is often associated with exchanging gifts, but for some, it can be an emotional challenge. Past traumas such as abuse, poverty, and a lack of connection could have affected one's perception of self-worth, fairness, love, and other complex emotions.
6. Sensory triggers
The holiday season is a period of joy for so many - the rich smelling food, the sound of christmas songs, the sight of colorful baubles on trees. These same joys can serve as triggers for trauma survivors, opening up old emotional wounds. Certain sights, sounds, and/or smells may trigger memories or flashbacks to the painful past.
Final Word
If you're struggling during the holidays, it can be helpful to reach out for support. This may include talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking professional therapy, or finding a support group for those experiencing similar challenges.
Above all, be kind to yourself and others during this time of year. The holiday season can be challenging, but with support and self-care, it's possible to navigate it in an adaptive and safe way.
At Life Growth Psychology, our trained clinical psychologists are experienced in helping you with understanding your relationship with Christmas and the holiday period. Book an appointment with us and start your healing journey today.
